When I got home, I slammed the front door shut and kicked off my shoes by the door. What the hell was that? Who was Kevin talking about? Did somebody tell him to run with me?
My mind kept reeling as I darted up the stairs.
I grabbed a towel out of the hall closet and went into the bathroom. I started the water for a shower- waiting for it to heat up. As I waited for the warm water, I peeled off my spandex and workout shirt. I climbed into the now warm water, and continued to think.
I let the heat soak into my pores, cleansing me and allowing my mind to think more rationally.
It could have been Jason who put Kevin up to the run. Jason could want to know how I felt about him. But if Jason wanted to know, then he would have just come up and asked me?
It could have been Rachel. Rachel always used Kevin to get tabs on Jason. That’s probably how she knew how Cera struck up a conversation with them last weekend.
I continued to think through my list of possible people, but none of the pieces came together. Nothing clicked.
When I started to get frustrated, I turned up the heat and let the water pour over me. It cascaded down my head and down my back. My frustration rinsed away with the suds from the shampoo. All my anger seeped down the drain, and when I stepped out of the shower I felt like a snake once it sheds its skin.
I wasn’t tense any longer, I wasn’t angry either. There was a nagging at the back of my thoughts about my conversation with Kevin, but I stuffed that back down and continued into my room.
I changed in to my favorite flannel pajama bottoms, and a baggy T-shirt. I climbed underneath my covers and broke open my book. It was when I started to doze off that I pushed my marker into my book and set it on the bedside table.
I slid underneath the covers, and for the first time in a year, I dreamed.
It was a crisp summer day. All of the cold and darkness of winter was melted away and a warm and fresh day was left in its place. It was the type of place that you hear about in fairy tales. The field went on for what seemed like forever and flowers bloomed everywhere. The pinks, purples, and yellows reminded me of a child’s coloring book.
I looked down at myself and saw that I was wearing a pale blue dress. It was strapless and it stopped right before my knees. The bottom had intricate, silver beading and a fine white lace surrounded the skirt.
“It matches your eyes.” I spun around to find the owner of the voice. It was Jason.
I blush as Jason refers to the color of my dress. “No it doesn’t.” I looked down at the grass. Jason got up and walked over to me. He grabbed my face in his hands and pulled me up to look him in the eyes. I inhaled sharply and held my breath. I looked into his chiseled features and they were so perfect it almost hurt to look at. His deep eyes wanted me to get lost in them.
“Yes. It does.” We stared at each other for a couple of seconds before he said, “It’s the color of the sky on a cloudless day—the light blue that lets you know a perfect day is on its way.” Pink rushed to his face, but he continued to talk. “The color suits you well, because whenever I’m with you it is a perfect day.”
My face was still cupped in his hands and he leaned down. He placed his lips on mine and my head started to spin. His touch was light and cautious, but when I let him continue to kiss me, he pressed harder. His kiss told me that he had been waiting to do this for a while and was reluctant to let go.
He pulled back, and a tiny part of me was sad when he did. I opened my eyes, but it wasn’t Jason’s face I saw.
It was the main hallway of our high school. I could barely tell because all of the windows were boarded and the lights were off. Panic seeped into my pores at the thought of somebody else being in here with me. How would I get out? And who the hell boarded up the windows? We had school Monday…so somebody was going to have to do something about that.
I turned to see if somebody was here, but I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t going to be one of those stupid girls in horror movies who call out “Hello?” all innocently. That was idiotic; they were basically going, “Hey killer…I’m over here!”
So I turned around and took in my surroundings. The main desk at the front of the school was to my left, and the offices were behind it. I walked very slowly down the main hall and peered into each of the adjoining halls to my right. At the end of the third hall, I saw a light. A faint, yellow light was shining at the very end of the hall.
I turned right down that hall and started to follow the light. Endless rows of lockers passed me and the classrooms were all locked with the lights out.
When I got halfway down the hall I saw him.
Jason was strapped to a simple chair. His arms were bounded behind him, and his legs were attached to the two front legs of the chair.
His hair was matted to his forehead with sweat, and little cuts all around his neck were letting blood escape.
My stomach dropped. My breath was caught and I couldn’t breath.
When I finally regained my breath, I ran towards him. I forced my feet to move as fast as they could against the linoleum. More lockers whizzed by as I continued to run.
But Jason wasn’t getting any closer. He still sat twenty feet away from me and no matter how hard or fast I ran he stayed the same distance. A scream caught in my throat. I wanted to call out to him, and ask him if he was okay, but he didn’t even look alive.
The only thing that told me he was alive, was the rise and fall of his chest. I tried to call out to him again, but no sound would escape my throat.
There was a rattling behind me, and I spun to see what it was.
But when I turned, I was no longer in the hallways of RHS, but in at the mouth of an alley. Why did I keep ending up in different places? It felt like a cheesy horror movie—but the panic was raw and gripping.
I spun around to get a grasp on my surroundings. It looked like a street that would be in New York City, and the alley smelled like one too. I had seen alleys like this on my trip to New York back in seventh grade, but my parents told me not to look and ushered me forward.
Now I peered into the alley was, and saw that it too was black. I wasn’t thinking because as I turned to look into the alley, my back was to the street. Somebody came up behind me, yanked both arms behind my back and started to push me into the alley.
I started to thrash and kick, but the attacker was too strong and my efforts were useless. Tiny sounds of a struggle escaped me, but nothing like the screams that should be vibrating off of these building walls. I felt frail and weak—those were the two things I would never allow myself to feel again but here I was feeling them.
The attacker pushed me all the way into the back of the alley and threw me down on a pile of trash. He pulled something out of his back pocket. It was long, slender, and silver.
I only saw a flash of the object before the attacker was on top of me, and the object was pressed at my throat. I could now see that my attacker was a man. But I couldn’t see his face because of the ski mask he had pulled over his head.
Pain radiated through my throat, and I felt a trickle of blood run down my collarbone. The object was a knife. And he was going to kill me. The realization drowned all fear out of me, and I regained my voice.
“If you’re going to kill me, I at least want to know why.” I tried to make it sound as confident as possible, but that was difficult because he had his was leaning on my chest, making it impossible for me to get enough oxygen.
I didn’t think he was going to answer me when he said, “Too bad.” With one swift motion the object went up, came back down and everything was black.
My eyes sprung to open, and for a second I didn’t realize that I was back in my bed. I sat up and took in the surroundings of my room. When my breathing slowed, I realized that it was all just a dream. Well the first part was a dream, then it turned into a nightmare like it always does.
Jason’s caress was so gentle and real, that it almost felt real. I reached up and touched the place where his lips touched mine, but mentally cursed myself. I wasn’t supposed to even be thinking about Jason, yet I’m dreaming about him?
No, this was not okay. So I reflected on the second part of my dream. The alley almost seemed too real. But why would anybody want to kill me?
I couldn’t think of anything, so I chalked it up to be just some stupid nightmare, and tried to go back to bed.
When my mind was in that phase between sleep and reality it did something I never would have allowed it to do if I were conscious- I thought about Jason.
“The prom theme is a Masquerade ball!” Cera was sitting on my bed and chattering on about prom. I could tell she wanted to go, but I honestly had zero interest. “I’ve always wanted to go to a Masquerade ball, and now it’s our prom theme. We could go, and have a totally awesome time and look like fools and nobody would know it was us.” She was getting high off of this prom talk. “We could totally meet two really hot guys, and they would have to like us for who we are, because they wouldn’t know it was us.” She stared off as she pictured her scenario. “We would dance all night, and really get to know each other for the other’s personality. And if it ends badly, then there’s no harm no foul because we’ll have masks.” She looked over at me and waited for my response.
“What if the masks come off first and then things go bad, what would you do then?” I looked at her with my arms crossed, and I was mentally hoping she would get the message that I didn’t want to go, or even talk about prom.
“That wouldn’t happen.” She said it simply. “Please Lily. Please just think about going. I would be by you the entire time. What are you so afraid of?” She was looking at me like a kid looks at their parents when they ask for a new bike. She was so full of hope, and I could tell that this dance would make her happy.
“You wouldn’t leave me?” I mumbled and looked down at my hands.
“Never!” She bounded off the bed and ran over to hug me. She was literally jumping up and down with excitement as she pulled me in for her hug. “Lily, I’m so excited!” She pulled back suddenly, and shock was splayed all over her face. “Crap! Oh damn it. Lily, we need dresses, and masks, and shoes and we only have a week!” she was freaking out now.
I grabbed her arms and she was still freaking out. “Then we’ll just get everything today.” I said, and her freak out was replaced by screams and shrills of excitement. She reached for her shoes and pulled them on.
“Let’s go then.” She practically ran out of my room and into the Jeep.
“Try this one.” Cera was holding up a neon pink dress with no straps and no back. It would have been pretty, if you were a hooker.
The entire ride here, Cera talked about prom. She wondered what the gym would look like, who would be wearing which dress. I even had to calm her down when she started to freak out about getting the same dress as somebody.
When we got to the mall she shot into Dillard’s and found the dress area immediately. She looked for herself for a while, and when she saw that I was just watching her, she tried to get me involved by finding my dress first.
“Cera,” the dress was wretched. “That’s terrible.”
She looked frustrated and put the dress back on the rack. “Okay,” she turned back to me from the racks of dresses. “Here’s what we’ll do then, I’ll get five dresses for you and you pick five for me. We’ll each try on every one of the dresses and that well help us decide.”
I went along with her plan, and picked five dresses for Cera. I tried to pick really classy and elegant dresses. I know she wouldn’t like these because they’re not flashy enough. But I figured she would look stunning in them, so I took them back to the dressing rooms.
I finished picking my five out before Cera and stood awkwardly in the back until she finished. We each went into the dressing rooms with our five dresses and started to try them on.
The first one I tried on was a deep green. Its emerald color shimmered whenever I moved. The neckline plummeted and stopped just before my belly button. This was most definitely not my dress. “Cera, are you serious?” I called to her from my dressing room.
“Come out! I’ve got one on too.” I stepped out of the dressing room. “Oh!” Cera looked delighted.
“Cera, I look like a tramp.” I took that time to look at Cera. She put the pale yellow one on first. Her red hair jumped out against the light color. It was tight until her waist and flowed down in a really elegant way.
“You do not! It’s sexy.” She looked very pleased with her decision.
“It’s still a no. And look at you!” She spun around. “You look gorgeous.” I picked out a gorgeous dress.
“The color doesn’t match my hair.” She turned to look in the full mirror behind her. “I look like a baby chicken on fire.” I cracked up as we went back into our separate dressing rooms. Both of the dresses were a definite no then. The next dress Cera had picked out had feathers on it.
I automatically moved that one to the ‘no’ hook. I put the emerald dress on the same hook. I reached for the next dress and repeated the same routine with Cera. We each tried on the dresses and found something wrong with all of them. The cut isn’t right, the color is awful, or it fits awkwardly.
I was down to my last dress. It was a pale blue and it gradually got darker the further you traveled down the skirt. There was a long slit that went up my left leg. When I had it on I just stared at myself in the mirror hanging in the dressing room. The sweetheart neckline was made my shoulders look tiny and petite. There was beaded accents that sprawled across the bodice.
“Cera, I have my last one on.” I called to her and continued to stare at myself in the mirror.
“Me too!” she sounded excited. Maybe she found her dress. “Come on out.”
When I came out of my dressing room Cera squealed. “Oh my God! Lily, you look gorgeous. That is your dress.” She pulled me beside her to look in the full mirror.
Under the light I could see the way the dress made my eyes pop. My hair flew over my tiny shoulders; I looked like Cinderella.
It made me feel excited for prom for the first time. “Cera, that dress is stunning on you!” She was wearing the one I knew she would look gorgeous in. It was a strapless, white gown and hugged her torso. When you came to the golden accents around her waist, the dress flowed elegantly to the floor. The white made her hair come alive, but not in the burning way that the yellow dress made it. She looked like an angel. The irony almost made me laugh out loud.
“You think?” She stepped in front of the mirror to examine herself in the dress. “It doesn’t look too much like a wedding dress?” Her hands played all over the fabric, and she was staring at it lovingly in the mirror. I could already tell she loved it, she just needed reassurance.
“Of course not. Cera, it’s stunning!” She squealed with delight and turned around and hugged me.
“We’re going to prom!” She squealed again and ran into the dressing room.
We paid for our dresses and headed over to Macy’s to find shoes. It didn’t take long to find them since we had our dresses with us. When we got out of the mall I was four hundred dollars poorer. My lack of money made me feel naked, and my excitement about prom was fading- fast.
“Well now here’s the hard part.” Cera said as we walked to the Jeep. I looked over at her; “We have to find masks.”
“Well damn. Where are we going to find those?” And how much is it going to cost me? I added silently.
“I don’t know. But I do know that we don’t have time to order them online,” She looked over at me, “and we have to get them today.” Her tiny body was almost shaking with nerves. If we didn’t get everything we needed today, then Cera would worry about it until we did.
“How about that Halloween shop?” She looked at me questioningly. “You know the one. It stays open all year, so that weird people can carry out their vampire fantasies and stuff.”
Cera eventually went along with me, and I drove us over to the Halloween store.
When we got there, we were instantly engrossed in decorations. Scream masks, fake spider webs, and plastic rats were everywhere. I grabbed Cera by the wrist and made our way back to the masks.
The place was creepy, and I didn’t want to be here a second longer than I had to be.
We were in luck, because this place had an endless amount of masks. Cera choose a gold one with silver sparkles outlining it. Three white feathers poked from the top, and it curled up on the sides. I choose a silver one. It was a very simple one with sparkles outlining the rounded edges.
We went up to pay, but nobody was there. I reached my head over the counter to get a better look over the edge, but still nobody was there. “Hello?” I said, and I heard a crash and somebody cursed from the back room.
Gerald came out from the back, his cheeks red with embarrassment. “Oh, hey Lily.” He wiped his hands on his pants, and came to check us out. “Oh masks. You guys going to prom?” Gerald asked.
“Unfortunately.” I said and gave him a smile. He laughed, and Cera mocked us. She clearly didn’t like the fact that I was down playing prom. I leaned over and whispered to Gerald so Cera wouldn’t hear. “I’m being dragged against my will.” He laughed some more and punched some numbers into the tiny computer on the other side of the desk.
“That will be $22.34 for both.” He said looking up from his computer. Something didn’t add up.
“Are you sure?” I said, I grabbed my mask and the tag said $14.99, I did the same to Cera’s and it was the same price. “They say they’re at leave fifteen bucks a piece.” I didn’t want Gerald getting in trouble at work.
“Oh I know. I gave you guys an unofficial coupon.” He smiled and blushed again.
I was stunned into silence. After a second I regained my voice. “Oh wow. Thanks so much Gerald.” I smiled and handed him the money.
I waved bye once he had the masks all bagged up. I was still touched by his gesture as we got into the Jeep.
“Well he likes you.” Cera said.
“I know.” She looked stunned when I turned to face her.
“You know?” She sounded surprised.
“Yes I know. He’s liked me since seventh grade.” I started the Jeep and pulled out of the parking lot.
“And you’re just now telling me?” She sounded hurt.
“I mean I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It’s not like it was going anywhere.” She raised her eyebrows at me. “He has a crush. So what? I don’t have to go around broadcasting the fact that somebody likes me.” That shut her up for a little while. About half way home, she started to talk about prom and how we would look so gorgeous in our dresses. I tuned her out, because I couldn’t stop thinking of Gerald.
I realized that I never asked him if he was going to prom. When I thought about it some more, I realized that I didn’t know if a lot of people were going. I wanted to know about one person more than anybody and that was Jason.
started to picture what he would look like in a tuxedo. Would he slick his hair back or would he leave it to curl around the base of his neck? Would he have a date? My stomach fell to the floor. If he had a date, I don’t know what I would do.
I tried my best to push all thought of Jason out of my head. I couldn’t be one of those girls that constantly thought about a guy just because she bumped into him in the hall and then gave him a ride home. No, that was ridiculous. And why was I dreaming about him? I never dream.
Frustrated I pointed my attention back to Cera. She continued to get all hopped up about prom, and I indulged her by pretending to get excited.
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