Chapter 3- Confrontation

    Cera was still looking at me, bracing herself for the rage that was bound to come from me.  But the longer I was wrapped up in my thoughts, the more she relaxed until finally she said, “Well that was interesting.” 
    I snapped my head at her and something about my expression prompted her to explain further.  “I saw Jason staring at you.  Why do you think I kept fighting with Kevin?  God, I could honestly care less if he played lacrosse when he was seven and made the winning shot in the championship.”  She rolled her eyes and flopped on the bed.  Her ruby locks fanned around her as she did and she spread her arms wide like she was about to take off in flight.
    “You did what?” Cera has a lot of nerve to do that.  She knows about my past with Jason.  She knew how much he hurt me and how much I hated Rachel.  She knew all of this and she still did it anyway!  The realization hit me like a ton of bricks and I laid down on the bed next to Cera.  “Why would you do that?”  My voice had softened, and my honest curiosity seeped through alongside my words. 
    “You didn’t see the way he was looking at you.  I did, so I saw an opportunity and I took it.” She said it as if it should be obvious.  “I knew Kevin was too headstrong to turn down a fight.  And let’s admit it, we always fight.”
    She was right.  Cera and Kevin always fought.
    The first time Cera came over, she and I were in ninth grade.  We outside minding our own business, taking pictures, and just joking around.  Kevin came out with his minion of little troops.  These troops were the younger boys who lived in the neighborhood and were friend with Kevin’s little brother.  We were sitting on the sidewalk and Kevin said some snide comment to me. 
    I usually just ignored his comments, and let him move on, but Cera wasn’t like that.  She always stood up for her friends and never let anybody touch, let alone hurt, them.  She stood up and told him off.  They got in a huge argument that lasted forever.  I finally had to pull her back inside as the troops descended and took Kevin’s side. 
    And the rest is history.  Cera and Kevin fight every time they see each other.  I’ve even seen them throw dirty looks at each other in the over crowded halls at school.  It was hilarious, the way they fought.  It was as if they were an old married couple that fought about everything and nothing at the same time.
   
    I slowly brought myself out of my memory and turned my attention back to my conversation with Cera.  “He wasn’t looking at me.”  I said it in a way that was supposed to be final and we could move on.  But Cera persisted, as she always does.
    She shot up and looked at me incredulously.  “Yes.  He was.”  Her voice rose at the end of her sentence, like she couldn’t believe I didn’t believe her.  “He was staring straight at you, and since I wanted him to keep looking at you, I kept fighting with Kevin.  I did it for you. So you’re welcome.”  She bounded off the bed.  And that was the end of the conversation.

    Cera left the next morning, but I couldn’t really concentrate on anything other than her words.  He was staring straight at you…No he wasn’t.
    But maybe those were the pair of eyes I felt staring at me.  The ones that got me in trouble in the first place. 
    Was Jason really looking at me, and that’s the reason I got so freaked out? No.  I pushed the thought away from me a quickly as I could.  It was Sunday, which was usually my homework day, but for some reason I had all this excess energy that would be put to waste if I just sat down and worked.  I couldn’t even concentrate long enough to be productive. 
So, I plugged my iPod in, and turned on my playlist.  The beat moved me as I moved around my room.  I started to dance and pick up my room at the same time. 
    I would pick up a scrap of clothing here, and do a twirl there.  A shake of the hips as I shot the wad of clothes into the hamper.  I twisted and turned until my room was spotless.  The music kept coming and I still had all this energy.  I turned up the music as David Guetta blasted through the speakers. 
    Nobody was home, so I let myself do something I hadn’t done for a long time.  I danced. 
    I danced all around the upstairs.  The music was so loud that it followed me into every room and I let it consume me like it used to. 
    Before I had to stop.  Before we couldn’t afford it.  Before my dad got sick. 
    I pushed all thoughts of my father back into the vault at the back of my subconscious.  I was dancing again, and there was no need to ruin it by thinking about him.  The song perked me up, just like it used to and when the beat dropped for the first time, all my thoughts faded and I was consumed by the music. 
    I kept dancing, I kept moving.  I didn’t think about school, or my dad, and especially not about Jason.  For this moment, I was Lily Hawthorne.  The real Lily Hawthorne.

    I pulled into my parking spot, and the morning started off like any other one.  My brother, Tyler, darted off into the school before I even had time to lock my car.  I walked into school by myself.  I didn’t mind being by myself at school.  If you got here early enough, before all the people crowded the halls, then this place could almost be peaceful.  Almost. 
    I got to my locker, held my breath and braced myself for Jackie stench.  I slammed my locker shut and proceeded to the cafeteria. 
    The cafeteria was almost deserted in the morning.  There was a sprinkle of kids here and cluster in a booth there.  I grabbed my iPod out of my bag and was sticking a bud into left ear when somebody sat down across from me.  I lifted my eyes just enough to get a glimpse of the person. When I realized who it was, my gaze shot straight up.
    Her mouse- like features were all too familiar.  Rachel.  What the hell was Rachel doing here?  Why was she sitting with me?
    She stared at me.  It was like she expected me to know why she was here.  The silence became overwhelming and I broke first.
    “What do you want?” I tried to make my voice ice cold, but my nervousness shot through it like a bullet.  Was I starting to sweat? No.  Lily, calm down.  She wants you to be nervous, she’s baiting you.  I help eye contact with her until she spoke.
    “I think you know why I’m here.”  She practically spat the words.  But I still had no idea what she was talking about.  She must have seen the confusion in my face because she continued to explain her ominous statement.  “Well since you’re obviously too stupid and naïve to figure out for yourself why I’m here…” I wanted to punch her.  I wanted to punch her so hard, right in that little mouse nose and break it like a twig.  “You can tell that bitch Cera, that the next time either of you come up to my boyfriend, that I’ll shatter the very kneecaps you need to walk.” 
    I knew her threat was empty, but something about the coldness in her voice told me that she hated me with every fiber of her being.  My head swam with pictures of me and Cera bleeding on an empty sidewalk; both of us screamed for help that would never come—blood pouring out of our shattered knees.
    I was pulled out of my disturbing thoughts by the sound of Cera’s voice.
    “Do we have a problem here?”  Her voice was twice as cold as Rachel’s.  Cera was doing what she did best- standing up for me.  Beside her was Riley.  Riley and I had been friends for the longest time, and we weren’t as close as we used to be but I could still trust her with anything.  Cera’s bright red hair flamed next to Riley’s deep brown and they looked pissed. 
    They were my tag- team of bitches.
    “The only problem I have is with you two.”  Rachel motioned to me with a flick of a wrist.  It was as if she was swatting away a fly.  A pesky, little insect that didn’t deserve a second thought.  That was how she thought of me- as an insect.  “You better stay away from Jason.  The little stunt you pulled over the weekend wasn’t funny.  Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” 
    Rachel was rising from the table, and Cera and Riley dropped their bags.
    “Well it’s not their fault that you can’t hold onto your man.” Riley said.  Riley was slender and tiny, but she wouldn’t back down when it came to a fight.  Riley, was like Cera, she had always been there for me and we would be there for each other no matter what.
    Riley and I had been friends for I don’t know how long.  She was perhaps the funniest, strong- willed person I knew.  I loved her like a loved Cera or my family.
    Rachel whipped her head around to look at Riley, the rage burning in her eyes.
    “He’s not going anywhere.”  Rachel’s words made it seem like she owned Jason.  She probably thought of herself as the last beacon of light, and Jason was lost with out her in a world of darkness.  “He would be stupid to do that.” 
    “Well, maybe he’s found somebody better.”  It was Cera who spoke up now. 
    I felt as if I should help.  This was my fight with Rachel, not theirs.  How could I continue to let them fight my battles for me?  But that’s exactly what I did.  My body was paralyzed.  I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak.  The only thing I could do was sit there, in the booth and watch my best friends fight for me.
    “There is nobody better.  And if you think you’re referring to yourself or that little coward who’s just sitting there and letting you fight her battle, then I’m sorry, but you are mistaken.  Somebody like Jason, doesn’t go for trash like you.”  Rachel snarled the last few lines out before the resource officer came over.  It was strange how accurately her comment reflected my thoughts.
    “Is there a problem over here ladies?”  The resource officer asked.  His nametag read LOVE.  What an ironic name.  Why would the officer in a high school filled with hate, and contempt have the name Love? 
    I hadn’t realized, but all of the other kids in the cafeteria were staring in our direction.  Every single pair of eyes landed on us, and the scene that was unfolding right before me.
    Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.  “No problem officer,” that was Cera.  She continued in her sweet, innocent voice.  “It’s just that this bitch’s face hurts.”  Rachel and the officer both wore the same expression of confusion. 
    “No it…” before Rachel could get the last word out, there was a blur and a thump and then a wail.  Cera’s hand flew out of the air, and made direct contact with Rachel’s mouse-like nose.  The exact spot I had wanted to hit her before.
    The officer grabbed Cera, and hauled her and Riley away from the scene of the crime. 
    Other administrators swarmed around my little booth.  The nurse was called for Rachel’s broken nose.  Damn Cera, nice shot.
    I was taken into the front office and my statement was taken, and it was all over before first period.  Cera and Riley got two weeks of detention, and Rachel only got three days since she had taken Cera’s awesome punch to the face.
     I sat in first period in a daze.  My mind replayed what happened in the cafeteria over and over again.  By now the whole school had probably heard about how Rachel was taken from the nurse’s office in a stretcher, with a neck brace and every teacher, administrator and even Principle Smith fawning all over her.  They probably hoped that her lawyer father didn’t press charges against the school.
    All of this over a broken nose?  People were idiots.  Rachel had it coming.  Cera did what every other person in this school had been hoping to do for years.  She had taken down the queen bee.  Even if it was only temporarily, it was fantastic.  Cera would be a hero to all of those people who could never stand up for themselves.
    She was my hero.  I chuckled as I reflected on the moment when Cera’s fist made contact with Rachel’s face.
    Again, I could feel Catherine’s eyes on me.  I looked up and her eyes were bugging out of her head.  She wanted to know everything about this morning.  But I really didn’t feel like talking to her about it.  I would let Cera handle it.  Cera would explain how she was now the queen bee, and how she had distorted Rachel’s face forever.
    I can hear Cera now, “It better leave a scar.  Dammit, I want that bitch to have a reminder of me on her ugly ass face for the rest of her life.”  I would definitely have to call her tonight.
    I tried to pay attention to Mrs. Moskowitz, but I simply couldn’t.  My thoughts were going different directions at a million miles a minute.
   
    When first period ended, I couldn’t outrun Catherine.  She grabbed my arm in the now crowded hall and turned me so I faced her.  She pulled me to the side of the hall and looked at me impatiently.
    “What?” I said flatly.
    “What?! What do you mean what? What happened this morning?” She was buzzing with excitement about the latest gossip.  “I heard that Cera punched that bitch so hard, that now she’s blind in one eye and needs a transplant.  And when she hit the ground, she got a concussion and pissed herself.”  Wow this girl was incredible. Where did she get this stuff?  She must be a writer for a movie one day.
    “It sounds like you got the whole story.”  I tried to escape her, but Catherine wasn’t going to make this easy.
    “Oh no you don’t.” She pulled me back to her.  “Tell me what happened.”  She was practically shrieking now.  And I couldn’t handle another public brawl.
    “No Catherine, I can’t talk now.”  I darted past her and escaped her questions, but not the looks I got from the other people.  Some faces flashed pride towards me, others were mad and some were just upset.  People really were reacting to Rachel’s demise- just like Catherine had said.  I just wanted to get through this day in one piece.

    Unfortunately, the looks didn’t stop for the rest of the day.  I got that feeling of eyes on my back all day.  It made my skin crawl just thinking about it, and I barely paid attention to anything in my classes other than that feeling.
    When the final bell rang I darted from the class and through the waves of people for completely different reasons.
    I had to escape the looks.  I had to call Cera.  I had to avoid Jason at all costs.  I couldn’t be responsible for his girlfriend’s injuries.  He would probably look at me with disgust as if I was some piece of road kill just chilling on the side of the road.
    It’s not like Jason’s opinion of me mattered, but I didn’t want to be lectured about the need to control my friends, and how it’s my fault his precious girlfriend was hurt.
    No.  I didn’t need his patronizing attitude and his demeaning words thrown my way.
    I burst through the side doors and into the parking lot.  I was looking down at the gravel, avoiding all eye contact and stares as I desperately tried to reach my car.  I darted through the rows of cars towards my black Jeep Rangler. 
    It was an amazing car, and I loved it to death.  I got it once my dad was sent away.  And even after I cleaned it out of his stuff, I could still smell him in the upholstery.
   
    I flashed back to the time when my family was happy together.  When my dad would take me and Tyler on random car rides without telling us our destination.  We always ended up getting ice cream, or going for pizza.  Those times with my dad were fun.  I still remember how he would hug me and the entire world full of anger, danger and pain faded away. 
    He always made me feel safe, but that was before the attack and he was sent away. 
    I pushed thoughts of him out of my head almost as quickly as they had come.  If I started thinking about him, then I would cry and that would only bring more stares my way. 
    My only thought now was of my desperation to get out of here.  I got to my car, looked up and stopped dead in my tracks.
    No.  What the hell is he doing here? 
    I was staring straight into the face of Jason Dragson. 
    My eyes went wide, and I realized I wasn’t moving.  I wasn’t going to beat traffic and I wasn’t going to get home in time to avoid anymore stares.
    Before I knew what my body was doing, I was moving towards my car.  Jason was resting on the back left door, and I practically stepped on his feet when I tried to past him.
    It was a mistake.  I could smell his cologne, a smell that’s always been Jason.  I can’t describe it other that it’s a mix between wood, freshly cut grass and joy. 
    I shook my head, and mentally cursed at myself.  Don’t let him get to you.  Stay calm.  Get in your car and drive away.
    I frantically reached for the handle to get in my car when he grabbed me.
    He had my wrist clasped in his grip.  “Let go of me.”  I said it as loud as I dared.  Any louder and I wouldn’t be able to refrain from screaming.
    “Or what?”  He raised his eyebrows in a mocking manner, “You going to break my nose?”  He was referring to this morning.  And this was the exact conversation I wanted to avoid.  Talking about my hatred for Rachel with her boyfriend would only make her hate me more, and she only make high school a worse hell then it already was.
    I looked down at his hand that was still clasped around my tiny wrist.  “It’s not my fault your girlfriend can’t take a punch.”  I looked up at him with an expression that I hoped told him to let me go and go back to his own business.
    “Let go of the door,” he said sternly.  “I just want to talk.”  His voice said he was telling the truth, and his eyes said that he desperately wanted me to let go.
    But at this point, traffic was awful so I would just be sitting there and Jason could practically stand next to my car and say whatever he wanted.  So, reluctantly I let go of the handle.  I let my hand splay out in front of it, which said that at any moment I would lunge for it again, and make my escape.  My release satisfied him and he let go of my wrist.
    Jason relaxed against the side of my car with an amused expression.  What did he find funny?  The truth of the matter was he was standing here, with the girl who had gotten his girlfriend decked in the face.  How was anything about this twisted turn of events funny?
    “What do you want from me Jason?” I made my comment without emotion, hoping to get my point across.  He finally looked down at me.
    “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He made direct eye contact.  And I could see that he was telling the truth.  The little specks of brown in his blue- green eyes always flared up when he was lying, and they weren’t now.
    “Well I wasn’t the one who was punched.  Maybe you should go and see if your girlfriend is okay.” To my ears, my voice sounded cold, but it probably was just shaky and nervous. 
    “She has lots of people that will make sure she’s just fine,” he brushed off my comment and continued. “But I bet nobody asked you.  You didn’t punch her, and I bet it must have gotten a hard time from everybody today.”  He stood and dropped his arms by his side.  “So here I am.”  He said it very matter- of- fact.
    “I’m fine.”  That’s all I said, and resumed my get away strategy, but he anticipated my plan and stood in between my door and me.  My body was pressed against the car adjacent to mine as I tried to distance myself as much as possible from Jason.
    “Excuse you!” I practically shrieked.  When he didn’t respond I continued, “Move you… you… belligerent, arrogant jerk face!”  It’s all I could come up with… and chances are he probably didn’t even know what ‘belligerent’ meant.  But I was too mad to care.  Who did he think he was?  He can’t keep me from leaving?  Isn’t that kidnapping?  Should I scream?  Should I just leave?  No I couldn’t leave.  This was my car and I couldn’t just leave him to stalk me. 
     I mentally cursed him out.
“A belligerent, arrogant jerk face?”  He smiled down at me, “well I have to say… that’s a new one Lily.”  Nothing about this was funny to me.  I tuned all emotion out of my posture, my eyes, and my words and prayed that he got the message.
“Jason, just let me leave.” I tried to sound innocent and calm, hoping that he would give in.
“I’ll let you leave, but I’m coming with you.”  WHAT? No, no, no, no… I remembered the promise I made to myself about cutting Jason out of my life completely.  I wouldn’t, no I couldn’t give him a ride.
    “I’m sorry, I can’t.” I tried to reach around him and squeeze myself towards my car.
     But as I expected, Jason just moved to block me again.  “Why not?”  His voice now turned innocent too.  “We’re going to the same place.”  It probably was logical to him, but to me it was ridiculous. 
    “You don’t just come up to somebody you don’t even know and ask for rides.” I tried to appeal to his logical side- the side that would hopefully see that I was right.
    “I’ll take my chances.”  He finally moved out of the way, but he didn’t walk away like I was hoping.  He rounded the other side of the car, threw his backpack in the backseat and took his place in the passenger seat.  I stayed exactly where he left me.
    My left arm perched on my hip, while my keys dangled in my right hand that hung by my side.  My face was stunned into an expression of pure shock.  After a couple of seconds, Jason’s head popped out and he said, “Well aren’t you coming?” 
    I slowly put my stuff beside his in the back and crawled into the driver’s side.  How the hell did Jason get in my car?  And how the hell did I let him?
    I started the car without saying anything and reached for the radio.  I turned it up just loud enough so you couldn’t talk over it and hoped that it would keep him from talking.
    When he reached to change the channel, I smacked his hand away.  Everyone, even Tyler, knew not to touch the radio without asking.  But Jason wasn’t like everyone else- regardless he shouldn’t touch it.
    Over the music I could hear him say, “Feeling frisky are we?”  I shot him a look that told him I wasn’t tolerating any of his crap.
    When we were half way home, neither of us had said anything else and Jason reached for the stereo’s volume dial.  I didn’t have time to stop him before he turned it down so it was barely audible. 
    I reached to turn it back up but he blocked me.  “No,” he grabbed my hand.  “Leave it.”  My hand resumed its place back at 2 o’clock on the wheel.  I stared straight ahead and concentrated on the road.  I pretended as if Jason wasn’t even there, and hopefully if I pretended long enough, he would get the message that I wasn’t interested in anything he had to say.
    “I wasn’t lying before,” he started.  “When I said I wanted to talk, I really did.”  This caught my attention; I didn’t look at him or even acknowledge that he had spoken, but he continued anyway.  “I know it’s not your fault about what happened to Rachel.  And honestly I’m surprised she hasn’t been punched before now.”  The way he spoke about her made it seem like he hated her right alongside me.  But that was impossible, they were a couple after all. 
    I laughed slightly and I slowly turned it into a cough.  He took my acknowledgement as a gesture for him to keep talking.  “She doesn’t treat people nicely, and I’ve heard the way people talk about her.  Even her ‘best friends,’” he did air quotes around best friends, “hate her guts.”  He finished his little tirade and I finally turned to him. 
    “Somebody should really smack you.” My face was full of shock and distaste.  I could sense his confusion before his eyebrows even made contact.  “You two are together.  She’s hurt and you don’t even care?  What kind of boyfriend bashes his girlfriend of two years to somebody who despises her?  That’s messed up.”  As much as I hated Rachel, nobody deserved to be badmouthed by her own boyfriend.
    “What you don’t understand,” he sounded pissed.  “Is that we’ve been fighting… a lot.  She doesn’t even talk to me, and she treats me like I’m furniture that she owns.  She doesn’t own me.  Even if it isn’t Facebook official, we’re not together.  She and I both know that it’s been over for a while, which is why I’m going to officially break up with her.”  I slid my gaze over to him and shock was visible all over my expression.
    “Don’t look at me that way.” He was insulted.  I could see it flaring up in his eyes.  “Two years is a long time Lily.  I’ve thought about this for a while, and I’ve given her numerous opportunities to change, but she hasn’t.  So it’s over.”  His cheeks were bursting with spots of red, and his temper was flaring. 
    I turned my attention back to the road, not knowing how to respond.  Why was he telling me this?  Why me?  Goodness boys were confusing.  But rather then sit here and wonder I just came out with it.
    “Why are you telling me this?”  I kept my eyes forward.  I couldn’t dare look at him now.  If I did I would completely lose myself in his eyes and would never be able to pull myself back out.
    “Because I trust you.” I could feel his gaze on my profile.  “And a little birdy informed me that the whole reason you and I stopped being friends in fifth grade was because of Rachel, and the more I thought about it… the more I realized that the little birdy was right.”  I could sense the regret that tinged his voice.  He was being sincere.  “I thought about it for so long.  Why we stopped talking and why we never talked anymore.  I can’t believe I never pieced it together.  Rachel was the reason.  She was always the reason.”  His voice faded the longer he talked until we both sat at the light in an uncomfortable silence.
    “Cera…” I should have known she would talk to Jason.  But when?
    As if he had read my thoughts, Jason answered me.  “Over the weekend, before you came outside, she practically bit my head off for ditching you.  And when you came up to us, she made up that load of crap about lacrosse tryouts.”  He was amused by Cera’s forwardness.  But I wasn’t.  We came to a red light, and I wanted nothing more than to be out of this car, and in my bed reading my book.
    Turn green.  Please turn green right now.  The light needs to turn green so I can get out of here. 
    Feelings aren’t my thing.  I don’t like expressing them or talking about them; especially not to Jason.  He could never know what I was feeling.
    “But at least you figured it out,” I said.  Jason let out the breath that I realized he had been holding since he stopped talking. 
    “That doesn’t make it right.”  He looked down at his hands that were folded in his lap.
    “No, it doesn’t,” I could feel the frown spread across his face so I continued, “but it wasn’t all your fault.”  I was trying my best not to go ballistic on him.  Inside I was screaming at him.  Of course he had every reason to feel crappy about our broken friendship!  He left me alone, and I was damned if I was going to comfort him by telling him that it was okay and we could go back. 
He didn’t reply, and we rode in silence until we got to the head of our neighborhood.  He sighed and then turned to face me.  “Lily,” he started, “I’m sorry.”  That was all he said, and I swam in my thoughts as we twisted down the main road, and turned right onto our street.  Jason was apologizing.  Finally, after years of being angry, and just wishing for a simple apology, I had finally gotten it. 
     But for some reason, I was still angry.  His words had the tone of sorrow, and I could tell that he was earnestly apologizing to me.  But why was I still mad? 
    It’s because after all these years… Jason expected me to forgive him because he said sorry.  I couldn’t let the past go even if I wanted to.  I still had all this anger towards him, and I didn’t know how to release it.
    But he had said sorry, and that was a start. 
    When I’m under pressure, my words stumble and I can’t get them to form in the right way.  But I did this time- surprisingly.  “I can’t say that I’ll just let the past go,” I saw him start to frown, “But I can try.  It will take time.  But I will try.”  And that was that.  My answer hadn’t been the one Jason was hoping for, but I couldn’t anything better.  And he seemed content with it for now. 
    I pulled into his driveway and waited for him to get out.  But he didn’t.  He sat there and stared straight ahead as if he was lost in thought.  Is that what I look like when I’m swimming inside my own brain? 
His face was expressionless and he just sat there.  How do I get his attention?
    Well, I thought about how Cera and everybody else got me out of my dreams.  Cera yelled, my mom snapped in front of my face, and Tyler punched me.  But I couldn’t yell at Jason, because he looked so innocent; I couldn’t snap at him because that would be a bitch move; and I couldn’t punch him because that’s just rude.  So instead I sat it out.  After a couple of minutes I cut the engine and sat with Jason in silence.  It was an eerie silence, but not a suffocating one. 
    I sat and played with the fray coming off of my jeans until Jason returned to life.  He gasped like a seven year-old getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  I jumped in my seat and he just looked at me, so I looked back.  What the hell is wrong with him?
    “Thanks for the ride,” he said.  He got out, got in his stuff and went inside.  What the hell?  I turned my car back on and proceeded to my house.  That was so bizarre; I don’t even know how to feel about that.
I got home and did my routine.  I picked off my navy blue V-neck and put on my really baggy Coldplay T-shirt.  I replaced my jeans with yoga pants, and my hair was in a loose bun atop my head.  I got my book and snuggled in bed.  Pretty soon I fell asleep, and five o’clock was far-gone when I woke up again.  It was seven.  SEVEN?! What the hell? What was wrong with me?  I can’t even stay awake?
I ran down for my books, and did homework for the rest of the night.