The next day at school was awful. I was so tired, I could barely lift my feet to walk from class to class. Teachers gave me looks when I didn’t take notes, but I didn’t care because the only think I could think about was sleep.
On the way to lunch I took the long way, hoping for some peace and quiet away from the rambunctious cafeteria. I was about to round the corner when I heard people arguing. I didn’t want to interrupt their conversation and awkwardly walk by, so I clung to the wall and waited out the conversation. I tried not to listen, but it’s hard not too when tempers are flaring so much.
“We haven’t been happy for a long time,” that was a guy’s voice.
“We can fix it.” The girl sounded on the edge of tears.
“What’s the use? We’ve tried before and it never worked. What makes you think it will work this time?” The boy sounded angry now. And I finally realized what I was witnessing- a breakup. Two people were breaking up. They had obviously come out here for some privacy, and I was the rude girl stalking them and listening in. I couldn’t believe the position I was in.
I turned to leave when the girl said, “Is this about that bitch Lily?” I froze in place. This is Jason and Rachel. I let out a tiny gasp, and went back to the wall. If they heard me, people would think I set the whole thing up, and I would be responsible for their break up. They would accuse me more than they already did, and the looks would never end. I just needed to get out of here. I looked hastily for an escape, and even when I found it, I couldn’t get my legs to move.
I realized then, that I wanted to know what Jason had to say to Rachel’s question. So I would stay to hear his answer and then I would leave. So I waited silently for his answer.
“No,” he didn’t sound too convincing to me, so he was going to have problems convincing Rachel. “Rachel, we have been together for too long. I’m not happy in this relationship.” His anger was building, “you treat me like you own me. I am allowed to talk to whoever I want without you going up to them and threatening them,” he knew Rachel threatened me? How? “You are controlling and I don’t know how I even tolerated you for so long.” His anger was fading, but my stomach twisted at his words.
I had to get out of here. I started to leave when the yelling started.
“Jason!” Rachel shrieked, “Take that back right now!” Her words were dripping with anger, but Jason was standing up for himself.
He yelled right back at her. “No! I’m not under your control anymore! Rachel we’re over.” That’s when it all ended. Jason stalked off in the direction opposite mine- thankfully. I made my escape when Rachel started to cry.
The next couple of days were uneventful. I didn’t talk or even see Jason for at least three days, and I avoided Rachel in the halls as if my life depended on it. I paid attention in my classes, and slid into my regular routine once again.
Thursday morning I was back in my small booth in the cafeteria. I had both ear buds in was waiting for somebody to come and save me from my loneliness as I read my book.
As if my ‘prayers’ were answered, Mary Cartwright came and sat across me. Mary and I used to be close, but she was one of those friends who came and went in life. Our relationship was nothing like the one I had with Cera. Mary and I used to have a lot of fun together, but when I changed she kind of left along with the old me.
She and I still hung out in groups, but never one on one like we used to.
Now she sat across from me, and I knew that she was going to launch into her lastest speech about last Sunday’s sermon. I had no interest about what her pastor lectured about this past week, or how her bible group always met on Tuesday afternoons.
Mary was very active in her church. She was always going around pushing her thoughts about God or her beliefs on abortion. It’s great that she’s so active in her church, and believes so strongly in her religion, but when she lectures me about how I need to change my attitude and views on God- I want to punch her in the damn face.
It was fine at the beginning. At first I even admired her dedication, but as time wore on- she began to tap dance on the very thin ice that was my nerves.
Now she sat across from me, and I started to prepare myself for her latest lecture.
“So,” Mary started. “Are you going to prom?” I was slightly relieved that the topic wasn’t about religion, but agonized because prom was the last thing I wanted to think about.
The only person I wanted to go with, was the same person who had just gotten out of a very long relationship. This was the same person who I hadn’t talked to in days. No, I didn’t want to talk about prom with Mary.
“No.” That’s all I said and I attempted to get back to my book.
“Why not?” She sounded almost hurt, but knowing Mary she didn’t really care that much. She already had a date, and was probably already going in a large group. She didn’t need me to go. So what was the point of this conversation?
“Because I don’t want to.” I said flatly. Thankfully, throngs of people were entering the cafeteria, and many of my other, normal friends were among them. Ana, Cera, Catherine, and Riley came and joined us at my booth.
They all sat down and conversation about prom erupted. Conversation about who was going, who wasn’t, dress colors, groups…I tuned it all about because I didn’t care.
Prom was one of those stereotypical high school events that didn’t interest me at all. Many people called it a ‘right of passage’ but in all honesty I didn’t understand the need to get all dressed up and go broke over one night—to me it just didn’t seem worth it. I cracked open my book, but with all the chatter it was impossible to concentrate. I sat and stared at no where in particular when Riley nudged me and tried to bring me into the conversation. “Lily, you’re not going?” Riley’s intentions were good, so I let a little piece of me slip into the conversation.
“Nope. Prom isn’t really my scene.” I waved absently. Riley understood, and didn’t press me anymore on the subject.
The first warning bell went off and everybody got out of the booth. The prom talk continued as we left the cafeteria. I didn’t even bother to wait for Catherine even as I heard her calling after me. I put my ear buds in and kept walking like I didn’t hear her.
I knew she would be mad, but I honestly didn’t care if Catherine was mad at me.
I got into first period, and Catherine had almost reached me. So I picked up my pace and looked around the room for somebody to talk to. If I was talking to somebody else, then Catherine would be mad and stop talking to me all together- hopefully.
Gerald was the closest person so I walked straight up to him and started to chat.
“Hey Gerald.” I said brightly.
“Hi Lily,” I could tell that my instigating a conversation confused him, but he had the decency not to point it out.
I didn’t have time to continue because Catherine was practically barking at me. “What the hell Lily?” her voice was on the edge of shrieking. “I know you heard me calling after you. Why didn’t you wait?” She was shaking her head and her long hair flew in front of her face. If she were foaming at the mouth, I would have sworn she had rabies.
“I was talking to Gerald.” I said it very politely and gestured towards Gerald. Poor Gerald, he was just standing there awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Why?” Catherine practically spat the word at me. “You’ve never wanted to talk to him before, so what was so important that you had to rush in here. No offence,” she was speaking in Gerald’s direction. “But there’s nothing special there. He’s nobody.” I could have smacked her.
“Catherine!” I said in a hushed, but stern voice. She was drawing to much attention, and as gazes slid my way I got that feeling at the base of my neck. It was like being poked by millions of tiny needles. It was the feeling of eyes looking at me and picking me apart. “Gerald did nothing wrong. It’s not his fault I don’t want to talk to you.” I could see that my comment helped Gerald, but the looks of pain and hurt were still dancing across his face.
Gerald finally spoke up, “Catherine I think you should go sit down now. Lily’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to speak with you.” He said it coldly, and Catherine finally got the message. She made a sound and with a flip of the hair she took a seat as far away from me as she could get.
I turned to Gerald, “Thanks.” I said simply. He only smiled and then went back to his desk.
The rest of the day went in a blur. Catherine didn’t talk to me, and neither did most other people. I was glad to be left alone, because for the first time in a while- I was left with my thoughts. I went through the whole day just thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.
On my way home it started to sprinkle lightly. I had always preferred to run in the rain, so instead of reading my book- I figured I would go out and run off the excess energy I had from my run in with Catherine.
I took off my jeans and replaced them with tight fitting spandex that was perfect for running. In place of my light green polo I choose a neon pink work- out shirt and a hoodie.
On my way out I grabbed my Nikes, threw them on and called to my mom. I went into the basement where she worked, and told her I was going on a run.
She just waved me off because she was on a conference call.
I went back upstairs, grabbed my iPod and went on my way. I put one bud in and started to scroll through my songs.
I had just picked the right song, whose beat was fast enough to get my blood pumping when somebody came up beside me.
Startled, I almost dropped my iPod and I let out a little scream. I looked up to see who the person was- it was Kevin. I stopped walking and let confusion fill my expression.
“Mind if I join you?” He was wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt. His curly hair bounced up and down. It was as if his hair was agonizing in anticipation of my answer.
“Umm, not to sound rude, but why would you want to?” Kevin and I never talked, let alone went on a run together.
“Because I always found it easier when you ran with a friend.” He seemed to be enjoying this. “You know what they say, ‘beware of strangers. Never go out alone. Always take a friend with you.’” He was reciting what they taught you in elementary school. It was almost like the school’s motto.
“I’ll be sure not to take any candy, or get into large, white vans anytime soon.” My comment was meant to deflect him and get him to turn the other way. But he didn’t.
“Well I know you say that now, but you might need a big, strong man there in case they try to grab you.” I knew he was messing with me now.
“I’m only staying in the neighborhood.” I started to complain, but I knew it wasn’t any use. I was going to have to let Kevin come with me, or give up on my run all together. But I needed this run. I didn’t know what to do with all this pent up energy, and running was the only other thing I did besides dance. And both my mom and Tyler were home so dancing was not an option. I sighed, “Fine… but you’re going to have to keep up.” I turned on my heel and started to jog up the street. Kevin followed me, and caught up instantly.
“So…” Kevin started, “what’s up?”
“Oh Kevin cut the crap.” I tried to pick up my pace but he stayed right next to me. “Why are you really here?”
“I can’t enjoy a nice run with my neighbor?” I gave him a cold look and he finally got the message that I wasn’t joking around. “Well…” he started, “if you’re going to get involved with my best friend, I have to know who you are.” Was he referring to Jason? Jason and I were most definitely not involved. Kevin had no need to be here because there was nothing going on with Jason.
“We’ve been neighbors for almost fifteen years, why do you suddenly want to ‘get to know me?’ And me and your ‘best friend’ are not getting involved.” He laughed at me. He actually was laughing at me. Did that mean that other people thought we were involved? Did Rachel think we were involved? But we weren’t involved. “We’re not!” I said when he just stared at me with his eyebrows raised.
“Okay, I believe you.” He said as he held up his hands in mock surrender.
After a few minutes I said, “Kevin,” he looked over. “Did Jason tell you… that we were involved?”
“No.” I could tell he was telling the truth. “I just heard about you giving him a ride, and so I figured…” he trailed off.
“No, no… it’s nothing like that.” How could I explain to him that Jason and I hadn’t even talked since I gave him a ride? How could I explain that it was both a blessing and a curse that I didn’t have to see him? “Could we just talk about something else?” I said hopefully.
“Sure.” He said simply. “Tell me about Cera Montgomery.” I was so stunned I stopped running. He looked confused when I disappeared from his side. He stopped running too and turned back to where I had halted.
His confusion twisted into humor, and he laughed as he said, “What?” Kevin’s hair was bobbing up and down and his dark, blue eyes were dancing with humor. “You wanted to change the subject, so I did.” My mouth curled at the end into an expression that told him I was onto him.
Kevin liked Cera. It was so obvious that I couldn’t believe I didn’t see it before. He fought with her so he had an excuse to talk to her. That was it! It explained so much.
I carried my smug expression on my face as I went back to jogging. Kevin started to run too as I passed him and he had to work a little harder to catch up.
When he did I said, “What about her?” I looked over and saw him twitch. I could tell he was uncomfortable, so I tried to help him. “You like her, don’t you?” I watched him twitch again and punched his arm to get him to answer.
“No,” his fake anger was quite amusing. “Of course I don’t.” He lowered his voice as his protest came to an end and turned his attention back to the road ahead. We turned right onto the next street when I replied.
“Kevin, you brought it up. Now don’t lie to me.” He started to protest again, and I went into punch him again and he recoiled.
“Okay, okay!” He stopped running and threw his hands up in a mock surrender. “Yes, I kind of… like her.” He shook his head and his curls drooped in his face. He looked about eight when he said, “But you can’t tell her.” He mumbled so much that I could barely understand him.
“Okay,” I said. “I won’t tell her. But you have to tell me why you like her.” I couldn’t let him make this confession without some proof. For all I know, Kevin could totally be messing with me. I didn’t think he would make up some story about liking Cera, but I had to be one hundred percent positive. She was my best friend- I had to protect her.
We had stopped running and went to sit on the curb across the street. We were in front of an adorable pink house. The house looked like one a little, old grandma would live in. It was a baby pink; it had two flowerbeds on either side of the door, and little garden lights lining the walkway. As it got darker, the light allowed me to see Kevin’s face as he explained.
“I like her spunk,” he started. “She doesn’t take any crap from anybody.” He looked down at his hands and chuckled. “I like the way the hair falls in front of her face when she’s angry. She throws it behind her ears like she hates it for interrupting her rant.” When he spoke about her, it was as if I didn’t even exist. He continued, “I didn’t really notice her at first, because she used to infuriate me so much.” He laughed again. “But once we started fighting more and more, I saw that she was an actual girl. She was a girl whose quirks could make me laugh. She was a girl who was so full of energy and life. She was a girl who made me happy.” He looked over at me and his cheeks were red with embarrassment. I looked at him and let out a tiny laugh. He actually meant it. I could hear the honesty and emotion in his voice.
I looked over at Kevin, and he looked hurt. He had probably taken took my laugh as an insult. He got up and said, “Nevermind.” He started to walk off and I shot up to follow him. “This was stupid, I never should have told you this.” He was mumbling again. “This was a stupid idea. So stupid! How could they put me up to this?” Crap. He was so mad at me, I didn’t know if he would stop to listen to me.
“No, Kevin stop!” my voice went up in pitch. “That’s not what I meant.” I grabbed his arm and turned him around to face me. His look was dripping with anger as he stared at me. But he was listening so I went on. “I laughed because I never thought that you would like Cera. I mean you said it yourself, you guys were always fighting. It just never crossed my mind.” I could see his anger start to ebb away. I was getting through to him. That’s when I saw my opportunity to ask him about his mumbling. “What did you mean by ‘How could they put me up to this?’” I waited patiently for his answer.
“I can’t tell you that.” Kevin turned on his heel and stalked off. I followed. Did he really think he would get away that easily? I would be damned if I let him get away without answering me.
I ran and stopped in front of him. “Yes you can.” He tried to go around me, but I grabbed his arm and locked him in place. “Tell me.”
“No!” his scream stunned me and this time I let him slide past me. I turned and stared at his back as he ran down the street and back to his house.
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