Right when I get to school I dart to my first period class. Nobody’s there in the mornings so it is the perfect place to go and be alone. The second of The Hunger Games Trilogy has had me in its grasp all night so first thing this morning I cracked it open and continued to read. I don’t even care about the looks I get from the kids in the hall. I know what they’re thinking. What is she doing? What a loser, she sits alone and reads. That’s pathetic. I don’t care. People think whatever they want, and so I escape into the world where I know the people won’t judge me, a world filled with my characters.
The first warning bell rings and people begin to file into the room. Slowly at first, but as it gets close to the last bell, people are flowing in by the bucket load. I reluctantly mark my page and tuck it into my bag.
This is when Gerald Davidson sees his opportunity. He’s liked me since seventh grade, and has been fairly good at hiding it since I’ve only recently noticed.
I was too superficial to notice before my big “change.” But now that I’m looking at the world with the same eyes, but a different perspective, I can that Gerald has always been there to talk to me, or even make a small comment whenever he can. His large eyebrows and serious demeanor don’t make him very approachable, but he’s actually very kind once you get to know him.
“Good book?” He asks in his deep, but tentative voice. He motions to my now closed bag on the floor beside my feet.
“Yeah,” I say. “The best.” I know Gerald doesn’t deserve any of my contempt at the world. Hell, Gerald is the one person who’s always put up with me, and never judged me- other than my best friend Cera Montgomery. Now he asked me about my one true love in the world, and all I can give him is the same kind of snotty comment I would have given somebody when I was the old me.
I felt instant regret, but before I could apologize to Gerald, he’d already retreated to his side of the room and Mrs. Moskowitz saunters in.
Mrs. Moskowitz’s pudgy exterior gives her the affectation of being somebody who is nice, kind and gentle. But once she opens her mouth, her degrading words make you think otherwise instantaneously. But in a weird sort of way, I almost respect Mrs. Moskowitz. Almost. She may come across condescending and rude, but she can command a room with her voice. She can control a room full of twenty- six high schoolers without a tiny note of opposition from us.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of eyes looking at me. Catherine, that one friend that everybody secretly hates, is the one staring at me from across the tiny walkway that separates our desks. I ignored her as usual. But I knew as soon as Mrs. Moskowitz released us for our free period, she’d be all over me; she’ll ask questions and expect full, and detailed responses. She’s a gossip. Catherine needs to know everything about everybody all the time. She’s like any other teenage girl. She feeds off of information like a mosquito off of blood, and I hate mosquitoes.
Luckily for me, Mrs. Moskowitz handed out a pop quiz, so I am able to avoid Catherine’s interrogation for a little while.
After class I jetted out of the room and into the hallway crammed with people. Garfield’s halls could barely contain all of the student population. You were shoved against lockers on accident, you made contact with people you never dreamed of touching before in your life. It was claustrophobic and hot, and very, very uncomfortable. I darted through the masses trying not to make eye or bodily contact with anybody. I could hear Catherine calling after me, but I kept plugging on. When in made it three halls down to G Hall, I checked over my shoulder to see if Catherine was behind me, when the weight of my books was lifted from my arms, and a sharp pain radiated off of my forearm. I looked down and saw a bright pink welt forming on my arm.
My attention was directed to the events occurring in front of me. I had run straight into Jason Dragson, and my books scampered in forty million different directions.
“Oh, my…Jason, I’m so sorry.” I avoided all eye contact and scrambled to pick up my books. I’m sure my cheeks are blazing red, and I don’t need anymore attention drawn to me. Jason very politely helped me with my books and handed them to me tentatively.
“You don’t have to do that,” I snapped. He was only trying to be friendly, but here, nobody was friendly and it was kind of odd for Jason to actually help. I felt instantly regretful as I saw confusion and then sadness spread across his face, his blue eyes filling with confusion and regret. I tried to quickly recover before I hurt his feelings. Jason didn’t deserve to be yelled at for being nice. “I mean, you’re going to be late to class.” I stammered. “And I did run into you after all.” His hurt expression eased away from his face. Like erasing chalk from the board. His dark chocolate hair fell into his face and he pushed it away with the back of his hand. He stood from our crouched position on the floor.
“It’s fine.” He said simply and then stalked off.
“Thank you!” I tried to call after him as I watched his figure dipped into the streams of kids and disappeared., but all I got was a raise of the hand as he stalked off. Not even decent enough to turn around, I thought to myself. Gosh people were pathetically rude at this school. Although maybe I only deserved a casual wave of acknowledgement; I was the one who hadn’t been paying attention, and this isn’t the first time either. I wonder if he still remembers.
Jason and I had been inseparable as children. He was my best friend, and our parents had been close since high school. My parents loved Jason, and his loved me. When Jason and his parents moved in next door, my parents were elated. They would host b-b-qs, and block parties all of the time. I don’t know if Jason and I would have ever become friends if our parents hadn’t always joined us at the hip all of the time. I’m pretty sure they were planning our wedding at one point in time. When the Dragsons moved in, they fit in to the suburban lifestyle with ease.
His mother joined the neighborhood tennis team, and Jason made friends easily. When Jason became really close to Kevin Grieven, my next door neighbor to the right, my three-year-old self got very jealous. Kevin was a year younger then Jason and myself, and was annoying as hell. I couldn’t stand that mop he called hair—the ringlets bounced even when he didn’t move. I wanted to chop them off myself. Kevin would pick on me all the time, and never let me join in on kickball—he was the average childhood bully and I hated him with a passion. He and Jason would play around in the cul-de-sac, and I would often watch from my windows. How can Jason play with such an awful boy? I frequently asked myself.
Out of my hatred for Kevin, it became my mission to tear them apart. I know that sounds terrible and manipulative, but Jason had been my best friend for my entire life and I couldn’t stand to see him being taken by somebody else—especially not Kevin.
The bell ringing cut my thoughts about Jason and the past short. I looked around to see that I was one of the last people in the hall. My books were still scattered everywhere so I scrambled to get the last of my belongings together and rushed off to class.
At the end of the day I ran to my car as usual, and raced home. Only this time I didn’t do my usual routine. Before I could control my movements, I was on my bed and pulling my computer open. I my fingers glided over the keys as I logged onto Facebook, and clicked directly to Jason’s page. I didn’t know why, but our contact in the hall earlier spiked my curiosity. I started to look through the pictures of him and his loathsome girlfriend of the last two years.
She was part of the reason Jason and I quit talking.
When Jason and I started fifth grade, we were put into different classes, and I could feel myself losing my best friend very slowly to Rachel Livingston—a loathsome girl who craved attention all of the time. Jason slowly released me as his best friend and went back to Kevin. He also found himself a girl who wouldn’t leave his side for years.
Even when she was seven, Rachel’s blond hair was always stick straight, and her tiny features are what others would call cute—I thought she looked like a constipated mouse—but she was the average bully. She said that my clothes were too big, or ugly, or didn’t match; my hair made me look like a lion, and I should just shave it all off. I was tempted many times to just cut off all my hair. Just so she wouldn’t tease me about it anymore.
Rachel was part of the reason I started to wear my hair up all the time in middle school. She stole my best friend, my self-confidence, and made my life pretty terrible. Middle school was the worst. She still picked on me, but in more subtle ways. She knew Jason and I used to be close, and she would do anything to keep her greedy hands on him. She was being paranoid in my opinion. Jason and I hadn’t talked in over a year and yet she still did everything to keep me away from him. She would trip me in the halls, write notes and slip them in my locker. It was all very immature and childish, in my opinion. But these were just daily consequences in had to endure.
When we all got into high school, she and Jason became official. Jealousy wound up rearing its ugly head again, and I sunk into a depression-like state. The darkness consumed me and I could feel myself sliding down a slippery slope. Losing my best friend for good to my worst nightmare, combined with papa drama made life a living hell.
The day I contemplated suicide was the day I decided everything needed to change. I started to go on jogs to shed a couple of pounds; I bought new clothes—to my mother’s relief; I got a haircut and wore it down; I came back to school in sophomore year as a different person. One with confidence and one who sought to please everybody. That was when Rachel began to leave me alone—she didn’t even look at me. I was as good as dead to her and Jason.
Before today in the hall, Jason Dragson never even looked my direction, yet I was sitting here looking at his pictures. What was wrong with me? Why did I suddenly care? I asked myself these things but I still continued to go through his pictures.
I looked through two years of pictures of him and Rachel. I looked through his lacrosse pictures as well and all of the happy birthday posts from a couple of days ago. Right. I thought to myself. His birthday.
I never forgot his birthday. Not even when we stopped being close. This was the first year I actually had forgotten. I was too consumed in my thoughts. My grandmother would always say I was swimming in a pool of my own thoughts, which was probably accurate. I always had a look on my face that said I was deep in thought and most of the time I was. I barely came out of my thoughts long enough to live in the real world. Slowly I typed a message to him.
Sorry it’s late, but happy birthday. I hit send, and my message popped up on his wall. Butterflies found their way to my stomach and I silently cursed myself for caring. It wasn’t like Jason would come running over and apologize for everything just because I said Happy Birthday. What was wrong with me? I went to exit the Internet when a tiny red box popped up in the corner of the page. I clicked on it and led to my message.
Thanks Lily, you never could remember anything.
I didn’t know what to do. I was paralyzed, stuck staring at the screen. I stared at the message for what seemed like forever. Time slowed down and stretched out. How do I reply to that? After a couple of seconds a thought registered, He remembers from when we were little.
I had the world’s worst memory as a child. I forgot to do homework, to do chores, to set my alarm clock. I would often run over to Jason’s house and ask to borrow his book or his worksheet since I often left mine at school. He always let me borrow them, and most often would invite me inside to help me with whatever the work was.
No. I cannot let myself get sucked back into Jason’s world. He left me for Rachel Livingston. He ditched his best friend, for that… that…SLUT. Fury raged inside of me like a kindling fire. The more I thought about what he did to me and how he left me alone to deal with everything by myself, the angrier I found myself getting.
Now I was furious. I practically slammed my computer shut—he could not do this to me. He can’t bring up the past all of sudden and expect me to fall all over myself because he actually talked to me.
I had been excited when I saw the message though. For a brief second I had been smiling at my computer screen like it was the love of my life.
I stuffed the feeling away and continued with my daily routine of changing and then reading. I read, and all thoughts of Jason seeped through my pores and into the air.
When five o’clock rolled around, I closed my book and headed downstairs for my schoolwork. I walked towards my bag in the dining room when I saw him.
Jason Dragson was outside with Kevin, playing lacrosse. It was an average thing to do, but for some reason I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. The way his muscles tightened and contracted when he swung the stick to catch or release the ball, but what I couldn’t peel my eyes off of was his face.
His dark brown hair wasn’t like a mop like Kevin’s. His was thinner and straighter. It fell over his forehead with grace, and eased down the back of his head and stopped just short of his collar. Tiny curls swept the base of his neck, and around his ears.
Every body part was perfect, and that perfection made my heart skip a beat. His big blue eyes were the color of the ocean, and you could get lost in them without even noticing. He was all planes and angles with his high cheekbones and flat cheeks. His bow-tie lips were always pinker than everybody else’s. The color made him seem more approachable and when he smiled, you could tell it was genuine. As I was taking him in for the first time in a long while, his eyes slowly slid my way.
Before I knew when I was doing, I fell to the floor. I scrunched up below the windowsills, and waited his stare out. Had he seen me? Did Kevin see me staring? Had I just made the biggest fool of myself? I was too paralyzed by fear to move from my spot under the window. I knew I was being childish and stupid, but it was better then them seeing me staring. I sat there for ten minutes before I gathered the strength to peek through. Luckily Kevin and Jason had moved to Kevin’s yard, and they couldn’t possibly see me.
I darted for my bag, and raced upstairs. My heart was still pounding when my mom called me for dinner, but I wasn’t even in the mood to push food around. I grumbled up an excuse about having a lot of homework, and she actually let me skip out on dinner for tonight.
Memories of Jason’s face swam into my head even though I tried to push them down. I tried not to but my gaze slid over to my computer. Should I go back on Facebook? Did Rachel see my comment and force Jason to delete it? The curiosity was killing me. I reached over and grabbed the computer.
When I finally had Jason’s page up, my stomach rolled with giddiness. It was still there. Quickly, I exited and turned the computer off. I don’t know why but I had a sense that that my looking at Jason’s page was wrong.
The next weekend Cera came over. Cera and I were best friends—she and I knew everything about each other, and even though I wasn’t my old self, she didn’t judge, pry or question. To her, I was the same person and I could trust her with anything. At times she even made me feel like the person I used to be—somebody happy.
“You know,” Cera started. “If you stare at that wall any longer I might have to smack you.” She was standing in front of my closet and pulling clothes out, setting some aside and putting others back.
“What’s wrong with staring at the wall?” I realized that I had been in one of my thought comas.
“Nothing’s wrong with it. But when I ask for your opinion on a top three times and you ignore me, that’s a problem.” She didn’t sound angry, or even ticked off. She sounded matter of fact.
“Oh,” I stammered. “Sorry. Which top was it?” She held up a black top that was see through on the sides and had horizontal stripes of sequins on it. I wore it to a party last year. “It’s okay.” I scrunched my nose up in distaste.
“Well I think it’s gorgeous, and I don’t know why you don’t wear it anymore.” Cera still didn’t understand that I wasn’t the same girl who wore that top to that party last year. I was still the same old Lily to her.
“It’s not really me.” There. That was partly the truth. I didn’t have it in me to describe to Cera that I was now a cynic, and hated everything I saw. She always saw the good in everybody, and was sometimes too innocent for her own good. She would try to describe that I was the still her best friend, and that nothing had changed. I just didn’t feel like talking about my drama and everything that had happened. It was too much to even think about—let alone discuss.
“Well then you won’t mind if I take it.” She took the shirt off of the hanger and threw it into her pile of stuff in the corner of my room. Subtlety was never a strong suit for Cera.
“Fine.” I said it in the most cheery way I could. Cera launched into her latest gossip and I tried hard to listen to it, but in all honesty I didn’t care. I sat on my bed and she continued to go through my closet. I stared out through the window and muttered a few, “yeahs!” and “mhmms” in her direction at the appropriate times. I stared out the window, my eyes were fixed on the sewer cap in the middle of the cul-de-sac and I could feel myself slipping into a pool of my own thoughts.
A pair of feet ran past the sewer cap and broke my concentration. I was jolted from my trance and got up to see whom the Nikes belonged to. I got to the window and saw that it was the one person I did not want to see.
It was Jason. No. I exclaimed to myself. I could not let him suck me in. I turned to Cera who was looking at me with an expression of worry and curiosity. I stumbled back to my bed and tried to make her go back to the closet, but she was already at the window.
“Damn.” She continued to stare outside. I wish she would just turn away and go back to gossiping. I really didn’t feel like discussing Jason Dragson right now. Cera would never stop talking about Jason if she started. “I don’t know why you never went after him.” Now she was being ridiculous. “I mean, Rachel is a bitch, and if Jason should be with anybody it should be you.” Her words made a little piece of me perk up, but then I stuffed that feeling back down.
“Cera, you know that would never happen.” She dropped her arms from the closet and closed the distance between her and the bed. She plopped down and looked me straight in the eye. Her dark brown eyes looked at my pale blue ones with what looked like sadness. Is she sad for me?
Cera tucked her crimson hair behind her ear and let out a sigh of exasperation.
“What?” I looked at her incredulously.
“It’s just…” She trailed off and started to pick imaginary fuzz off of her jeans.
“Just what?”
“You are so pretty, and smart and fun and any guy would be lucky to have you.” Her eyes came back and met mine. “If you wanted to have Jason, he would be the luckiest guy in the world. Because Lily, you’re fantastic and you can’t even see it.” My mouth opened, but no words came out. Her words were so genuine, so pure and I could tell that she meant them with all of her heart.. “And the truth is…I’ve always been sort of jealous of you.” Her heart shaped face fell to the floor and her tiny cheeks burned red. I could tell that she was uncomfortable; she didn’t usually speak her feelings like this.
But what did Cera have to be jealous of really? Wasn’t I the girl with really thick hair? A girl who was always wrapped up in her own thoughts and thought the world was an evil place, except for the genuine people like Cera?
The truth is, Cera is perfect. Her features were dainty and gorgeous. Her chocolate brown eyes were friendly and inviting. She wasn’t tall—barely five foot four, but she had the attitude of a tiger. She wouldn’t let anybody walk all over her and she was confidant in who she was. Her petite features made her very feminine and she always wore the best clothing. She had no idea, how guys stumbled behind her in the halls, awing. She walked with confidence, but not the bitchy kind like Rachel. Cera’s was a walk of determination and grace.
I was always jealous of how Cera’s hair was the perfect shade of red. It was deep and sultry, and to be honest it was sexy. Maybe that’s why the guys stumbled all over themselves just to be near her.
“What?” It came out a little above a whisper, but then I slowly regained my voice. “Cera, you’re crazy.” Her auburn head popped up and a look of pain flashed through her eyes. Her tiny, plump lips were parted open like she was about to say something but I beat her to it. “Cera, I’m the furthest thing from fantastic, and all of those other compliments. You have nothing to be jealous of.” I held her gaze. “I’m messed up. I’m always in my head because my thoughts will never settle down. I’m moody and grouchy all the time. You know what happened with my dad, and ever since I’ve been different. Cera you’re the perfect one in this friendship…” She didn’t let me finish.
“I am not perfect!” She reacted as if I had insulted her. What was wrong with perfect? That is the biggest compliment a teenage girl could receive. “Lily, come here.” She grabbed me by the wrist and led me to the mirror that was hanging behind my door. She held me in front of her, and pulled my hair back. I noticed how my rounded cheeks have become flatter with the loss of my appetite. My dirty blonde locks entwined in her fingers as she pulled my hair into a ponytail. Make up hid the tiny, blue underneath my eyes and you could clearly see the exhaustion in my face. How could Cera think this is pretty? I started to look away but I felt her tiny fingers forcing me to look forward.
“Lily, you can’t see what’s right in front of you. Your dad can’t do anything to you to make you a bad person. He’s gone and you have nothing to worry about. Everything I said was true. I just wish you could see what I see.” I turned from her grip and hugged her. My hair fell back behind me and down my back. Even if I didn’t believe her, Cera always made me feel better.
“Cera,” I began into her red locks. I pulled back and looked at her square on. “Have I told you that you’re my best friend, and I love you.” A little ache in my heart gave way as she pulled me back in to a hug.
She broke away suddenly and went back to the window. “Now tell me…” she began, “why were you staring at that delicious Jason Dragson?” Her vocabulary had always been a little extravagant. Her eyebrows raised in my direction and she nodded towards the window.
“No reason…” My voice raised as the word ended. But from the look on her face I could tell she didn’t believe me.
“Lily, you know better than to lie to me.” She raised her eyebrows again and continued to wait for my explanation.
“Cera, I’m not lying to you. I was in staring mode again and he just ran by that’s all.” There was no way I could tell Cera that I was thinking about Jason again. How could I explain my feelings when I don’t even understand them myself?
“Well Lily, I think he’s hot and we should go say hello.” Before I could stop her, Cera was bounding down the stairs and towards the front door. “I mean, it’s only polite.”
“No! Cera, wait!” I chased after her and when I reached the top of the stairs, Cera’s scarlet head was already twisting the front door open.
“Jason!” She shouted and bounded outside. I took the stairs two at a time. I tripped when I got to the bottom but caught myself just before I wiped out. Cera had left the door gaping open and I yanked it closed behind me as I chased after her.
“Cera!” I shouted when I reached the front stoop. I went further into my front yard and turned to my right. Cera was in Kevin’s driveway and she was talking to both guys. Her red head bobbed up and down as she chatted them up. Confusion occupied every square inch of Kevin’s face, but Jason’s expression was filled with amusement and tolerance. I slowly walked up to the three and realized just how cold the late January air was.
But then again, I was in a T-shirt and shorts and I wasn’t wearing any shoes.
“Oh Lily! Good you found me.” She smiled brilliantly at me as I slunk up behind her. Her wink was concealed from the two boys and I just rolled my eyes. I mentally set her on fire and then fed her to the aliens who have a specific taste for redheads.
“You didn’t go that far.” I mimicked her perky voice, and took a place right next to her and across from Jason.
“I was just asking them if they were going to try out for the lacrosse team this year.” She completely ignored my sarcasm and tried to get the conversation back on track. “Jason said yes, and Kevin is a no. But that’s not a shocker.” I turned to her, my eyes so wide I thought my eyes were going to burst out of my skull. Why did you just say that?! I screamed to her mentally.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Kevin finally spoke up and his eyebrows were furred together and he had a hurt look on his face.
“Oh,” Cera put on her most innocent voice. “I just meant that you’re not really the sports type Kevin.” She was playing this innocent bit for everything it was worth.
I tuned them out because I had the strange sense that somebody was watching me. I looked behind me, and I probably looked like an idiot for doing so, but I couldn’t shake that feeling. I grabbed my elbows and tried hard to cover up the fact that I had Goosebumps. I continued to search for the pair of eyes that were responsible for giving me this feeling. I hated feeling like this; it made me feel weak and helpless and I never wanted to feel that way ever again. My eyes were suddenly pulled forward because a hand was touching my arm. I snapped back to see that Jason had stepped closer and was trying to talk to me. I raised my eyebrows in a gesture to mean, What?
“You always were so wrapped up in your thoughts.” Jason was joking with me. And he was referring to when we were kids. I looked up to see if Cera and Kevin had heard him, but they were still wrapped up in their argument about Kevin’s physical ability, or there lack of. I noticed that they had moved a couple of feet away from Jason and I as their argument picked up.
“Oh,” I said it so softly I didn’t know if he heard me. “Sorry, it’s just…” How do I explain that I could feel somebody watching me? He would think I was insane, but he probably already thought that. Plus I was distracted by the fact that he was still touching me. His hand was placed lightly on my forearm and I was still clutching my elbows. “Nevermind.” His questioning look faded and humor replaced it. And before I knew what was going on, Jason was laughing. Was he laughing at me? Had I said something funny? I didn’t think I had.
My eyebrows came together and I gave him an expression that was a cross between confusion and shock.
When his chuckles died down, my expression had changed; it was one that demanded an explanation for his giggles.
He cleared his throat, “Sorry.” But when my expression didn’t change, he knew he had to explain further. “It’s just funny, because you’re exactly the same.” He looked down and kicked an imaginary stone in the grass.
“And what exactly does that mean?” I stared at him, still waiting for an explanation.
“You’re still wrapped up in your thoughts all the time. You don’t hear half of the words anybody says to you. You never finish your thoughts.” He stopped and looked up from the stupid, invisible stone. “It’s reassuring to know that some people never change.” Was that supposed to be a compliment? Was he trying to be friendly? Was this boy who completely left me for another girl, trying to get chummy with me? No. He couldn’t do this.
After all of this time, Jason Dragson was trying to be nice? Boys are so stupid. You can’t just come over here and compliment me, pretending we were friends! No! No, no, no, no, no… Jason was just messing with my mind. When we’re back at school, I would become that girl who hated his girlfriend.
In my coldest voice I said, “How do you know I haven’t changed?” Confusion and surprise glided across his face. Good, he had every reason to be surprised. I wasn’t some girl who was going to fawn all over herself at the thought of being complimented by Jason Dragson. I was better than those pathetic girls were. “You haven’t talked to me for years. I could be a psychotic murderer for all you know.” I practically spat the words at him.
I hadn’t been prepared for what happened next. I had practically thrown my words in his face. I tried so hard to hurt him with them, but he just laughed. He was laughing at me again.
Anger seeped into my blood and spread to every limb.
“Cera!” Cera and Kevin’s argument halted and I was trying to contain my anger, before I lashed out and strangled Jason. “We need to get inside. I’m freezing.” I drained my words of emotion. I could feel her start to protest to I walked over and grabbed her by the wrist.
When I turned back to my house, Jason stood in my path. He bent over and whispered in my ear, “You would never hurt a fly. Let alone murder them.” The nerve this guy has! I just shot a dirty look at him in response.
I stepped around him and pulled Cera along side me. She didn’t talk or look back—but I did. When we reached my front steps I threw a look over my shoulder full of contempt and anger. Jason stood there and when he saw me turn back he smiled and then he winked. At least I thought he did, maybe my mind just made it up. Regardless I gave a sigh and stomped inside. I pushed all thoughts of Jason, our past friendship and his mocking tone out of my head. When we reached my room again, I yanked the blinds down and relentless sunlight poured through the cracks. I turned a light on and turned on Cera.
Her face was innocent, but I felt like I was going to explode. Slowly I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding since Jason’s ‘wink.’ As the air escaped between my pout lips, the anger seeped through as well. When I turned around to Cera who was propped atop my bed, I was no longer angry. I wasn’t feeling anything at all actually. I was numb and even my brain didn’t feel like working.
It was still too caught up in the events that just happened. How long had we been out there? Why did Jason feel the need to bring up the past? I was perfectly content just standing there in an awkward silence. Why was I thinking about Jason right now? That’s when I decided it.
Jason had this effect on me. He clouded my judgement and made me do stupid, reckless things. I would have to cut Jason out of my life forever. Things had to go back to the way they were before this week. I wouldn’t see him around the neighborhood; I wouldn’t look at him on the internet. Nothing. Jason Dragson could be as good as dead for all it mattered to me.
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